Turn On Your Heart Light

The title of this article consists of several words of a song that keeps singing in my heart these days.

Turn on your heart light; if I do, what will I see? As of late I’ve been journeying within and am in the process of working through a book called, “The Presence Process.” It takes you within to allow you to uncover things that you’ve held onto, most often unaware, that cause you to behave in a way that you do not want to be and that you do not like. Speaking personally, my response to life seems always to have been not a response but a reaction, and not in a good way. Thinking back to my reactionary lifestyle, it is most reactionary and volatile in times and situations where I feel threatened or feel that I am being misunderstood and not allowed to speak and explain, and so I jump in with both feet, no time to think, and just blurt out my response, before someone tells me to shut up! Not a pretty sight is it?

So, tell me, self, what does turning on my heart light have to do with any of this process that I am currently undergoing?

The answer is simple and that is without a light, it is darkness, and I won’t see what it is I am supposed to see. Rather a simple answer is it not?

To share with you, in my journey within, I have discovered behind a closed door, a locked door in my heart, my child; locked in and very afraid to come out. The Lord has been gracious in that He drew me to that door, and knocking on the door, He opened it for me to see. Had not someone turned on the light in that dark closet of my heart where my wee child sat huddled and trembling in the corner, I would not have seen her.

My heart light was turned on that I might see, and I stood there in the doorway looking down at this small child, this little girl huddled in the corner. She sat with her arms wrapped around her legs, curled in the corner, and she never looked up. She seemed to terrified, I didn’t want to speak and further her terror, so I just stood there looking down at her wondering what in heaven’s name could have happened to one so very young and vulnerable, to make her stayed locked up in the darkness for so very, very long.

My journey into the light, into the heart light of this once locked closet door won’t be explained in terms of linear time; suffice it to say, it unfolds.

At some point the girl stood and stared. I’d stepped back from the doorway and wasn’t certain she could see me, didn’t want her to see me in case I added to her fear. She didn’t move from the corner, and the light cast a shadow and the shadow was even tinier than she was. She was looking straight ahead, eyes direct, but I couldn’t tell if she was looking at anything or simply oblivious to everything.

I next saw her standing at the line that delineated between being into the closet and stepping across an invisible line and entering into the main room. Again, I couldn’t see what she saw and I can’t remember where I stood; I just stood silently watching her, willing her to step out into the light of the main room, the garden of my heart where there was no darkness. I wondered if she saw anything planted in that garden; wondered if I’d left some root of anger or hatred still growing in the soil, the soul of my heart; afraid that if I had, she would see it and retreat back to the safety of the dark closet of my heart. How I prayed that the work that the Lord had been working in me had uprooted all semblance of anything that would add to her fear, to her obvious negative view of the world at large.

Continuing, she did enter the great room of my heart, where Yahshua sat in his chaise lounge, quite relaxed and laid back; where he’d taken up house some time ago, telling me he was “quite comfortable” in the garden of my heart, and without words being spoken, in the same breath asking me why I wasn’t comfortable within my own self?

I hadn’t seen it before, but opposite him was a tiny lawn chair, a child’s lawn chair, and there she sat, my child, feet dangling unable to touch the ground. She just stared across at Yahshua, silent, eyes unwavering. She was transfixed as though seeing something for the first time; something good, something gentle, something that she had no need to fear.

I turned an left, leaving her in the safety of the presence of Yahshua, knowing that the same love that he’d been working in me, unconditionally, filled that large garden of my heart, and that ultimately it will unfreeze and melt away the fear that had kept my child imprisoned for most of her life. I felt save and knew she was save.

He turned on my heart light for me to see me, the way I was in linear time; how I somehow became frozen in time and space and never grew. The heart light is an eternal flame, fuelled by the fire of His love, and endless love that perpetuates the same in all that is in its presence.

My journey of uncovering continues, but I will close off this article at this point.

Turn on your heart light, or at least be willing to allow Him, your Spirit within, to turn it on that you might be set free – for as Scripture tells us (my paraphrase), “Whomever the Lord (Yahshua) sets free, is free indeed!”