Can I Blame My Thyroid?

Have you ever noticed that when you’re not feeling 100% (or is it just me) that your diet (your normal very healthy eating) takes a nose dive?  I have and I haven’t had much of an appetite lately.  Other than being faithful in my juicing, which I just can’t seem to go without, I’ve not had much interest in food per se.

I got a news bulletin from the health food store I shopped at in Toronto and actually read the whole thing.  In reading I was reminded that I have been meaning to pick up some kelp or kelp tablets from the healthfood store, and haven’t got around to it yet.

The part that was of interest to me is what the newsletter said about possible symptoms of thyroid issues.  It also said that kelp is good for bringing it back into balance so it is likely my intuitive self was been telling me that my thyroid needs a tune up.  Here’s the section I found of interest:

Excess weight, sluggish metabolism and cravings of sweets are all driven by deficiency of a variety of vitamins and, even more so, of minerals. Your most important metabolic hormone is the thyroid hormone. Many people exhibit symptoms of thyroid deficiency, such as: fatigue, weight gain, thinning or coarse hair, weak nails, dry skin, constipation, depression, irritability and/or abnormal menstrual cycle. These symptoms can persist even when a blood test shows normal thyroid levels. The primary reason for low thyroid levels is iodine and selenium deficiency. Iodine is easily displaced by fluorine, chlorine (present in municipal drinking water) and bromine (in refined baked goods). Kelp is your richest source of iodine, and it is also rich in over 60 different vitamins, minerals amino acids and enzymes.

Now, excess weight is not and has never been a problem with me.  However, I have been getting weird cravings for sweets and sugar (which is out-of-sorts for me) and in fact indulged and imbibed in some chocolate.  Okay, I lie.  A LOT of chocolate.

Now, this person cannot eat chocolate.  It makes me nasty, seriously!  The next day I am short tempered and in a bad mood; bottoming out for overkill on the chocolate.

Looking at the list of symptoms that might point to an abnormal thyroid, I can tell you that I meet the criteria of a lot of these:  craving sweets, dry skin, constipation, depression, irritability.  Oh, and yes, my usually excessively long finger nails are almost non-existent.  I’d been blaming it on all of the activities involved with the move; packing, unpacking, lifting, cleaning, etc. etc.  But, that’s over with and they still aren’t growing.

Tomorrow I think I’ll be getting me some kelp in one form or another!

Stripped Naked

Naked Tree

When you look at this picture, what do you see and what do you  not see?

That is pretty much the lens that I have focused on my life as things do not unfold as I had “planned” and I spend so much effort in trying not to beat myself up with negative thoughts; second guessing my recent move and the self-imposed changes in my life.

The first thing I see when I gaze at this picture is that which I chose to focus upon; a naked, stripped to the bare bones tree with no living life fluttering on any of its branches.  The tree is still alive.  It just isn’t showing any life.

Have you ever felt yourself stripped down to the bare bone, naked and unsure of anything in life; second guessing every move, even every thought that you have?

That pretty much describes what is going on in my life at this time.  Everything that I am familiar with, including family, friends and work, has disappeared and I find myself like that solitary tree that sits in the golf course, at the end of the Fall season, stripped to the bone and seemingly all alone – even though but a short distance away there are other trees, they are not the same.

So what do you do and where do you go when you find yourself in such a place?

It is even worse than that because I don’t seem to want to do anything or go anywhere.  My feet don’t want to move and it is because my heart truly isn’t in it.  Does that mean that my heart is the thinker and the motivator?  Is this one of the things I am supposed to be learning in these dead still and quiet times that somehow seem so screamingly loud with their emptiness?  I am seeing just how uncomfortable I am in being still; in just being?  I’ve always said I like my quiet times, my time alone doing nothing and just being still.  Well, now that I have this time it seems I am not so comfortable in just being; not at all.  I can’t even be still in the short time I allot to myself in the early morning.  It’s like that interest has been swept under the carpet as well.

Have I ever felt like this before, is the question I must ask of myself?  Have I ever felt even somewhat remotely like this and if the answer is yes, then to relive that point in time and see how I handled it then, I suppose is a good beginning.

I do not appear to be motivated enough even to revisit those times when I felt the world was upside down and my life in chaos; those times when, yes, “this too will pass” did come to pass and it was as if it never was.  Is this one of those deeper, darker lessons I am to learn by living such that I will never forget and at some point and place in the future, I will be a lending hand to another?  Is this a time of testing of “o ye of little faith” self and just how much faith I do have that all my needs will be met (as they always have been) and that certainly, “when one door closes another opens.”  Am I getting to live all of these cliche sayings that I’ve often used; I mean really getting to live the truth of every one of the words in every one of those sayings?  Will I become your vision of hope; your living, breathing walking cliche that yells out to you for certitude that this too will pass; it is always darkest before the dawn, etc. etc.

Certainly you all know I am very vocal and don’t hide anything.  Read any one of the writings and you’ll get to know a little more about me, just as I get to know a little more about me by allowing my fingers to transcribe the message.

Heaven knows I sure as He** didn’t and don’t feel like writing – but there’s a message here – for someone and a deeper message here for this some one.

Having lived a day or two I’ve acquired by hands-on experience and/or education quite a diverse compliment of skill sets, and yet, there doesn’t appear to be a place to put any of these to use.  I had no doubt at all of being able to put one or more of my abilities to use in order to supplement and meet my financial needs; no doubt at all.  And yet (laugh you may, but I am not) not one of these “abilities” that I so “pride” myself in, has been picked up on by anyone to whom I’ve offered them.

Is there a lesson in this as well or is it simply the Creator giving me the gift of time to really, really get to know who I am and how deep is my faith?  Without getting into any specific spiritual marker in my life, I can say that I’ve never done without and have always learned a valuable lesson in every one of the challenges faced in life.  I do not expect it to be any different this time around and have this inner knowing that there is a real treasure, a real pearl being uncovered for me to see and know and that it will be a pearl of great value to many whose paths will cross with mine.

I just do not like the darkness and the stillness – and yes, do not like being without a CAA roadmap that clearly lays out the route.

Stripped naked – what am I going to find? What kind of fruit will I bear when Spring arrives?  As Yahshua said, or someone did, in Matthew – why do you worry so; the Creator cares for every tiny sparrow, how much more we humans made in the image of the Creator.  Thank goodness our Creator has more patience with me than I have with my self and often times others!  Oy!!

Women, Wisdom & “The Word”

I began writing this on January 11th, 2012 and set it aside.  Here we are, four months later.  When I set it aside the intent was to return (shortly) and continue writing.

Today, as I re-read what I wrote, I decided not to add anything more.  There is plenty in this article already that raises questions and provides food for thought.

In a previous post (January 11, 2012)  I shared the video on Jesus & the Divine Feminine.  It was that post that caused me to sit down and write this article later the same day.

My desire was and is to share some historical facts that have come across my path through the reading of several books.  The primary book that has given rise to my purchase of several others is a book by Laurence Gardner called The Magdalene Legacy – The Jesus and Mary Conspiracy.  To-date I’ve only read 173 of the approximate 500 pages of this book, and it is more marked up, underline & highlighted than any of my plethora of versions of the Bible and/or Torah and/or Tanakh in my possession.

I smiled as I wrote those last words thinking of how when my mother and father would come to visit me in Toronto one of the first things my mother would do would be to ask to see the latest version of the Bible that I was reading.  As I gave it to mom I smiled because I knew full well that she would go through it to see what I’d written in the sidelines or highlighted so that she would then know the state of my mind, my well-being. I miss her dearly, so in a way, I think perhaps this article is a tribute to my divine mother, my human mother whose name happens to be Mary!

Where do I begin with this article?  Perhaps with my latest topics expressing concern on how we have dissed Mary Magdalene.  You see, I include me in the dissing because I accepted what the church told and taught me.

The church painted her as a harlot.  Why?  Better still, why did I believe she was exactly that, no questions asked?  I suppose the easy answer is that it was because the church told me so, and who was I, a mere child, to question that Pope.  I supposed that is acceptable to a child of 7, 8, 9 and even perhaps to someone in her teen years.  Can I blame the church once I came of the age of reason, when all I knew was what I’d been fed up to that point in time? And if I could, what good would it do; this business of blame?  I do know that from a very early age – and I think I can indeed trace it back to being as young as 7 or 8 years of age, I questioned what I was being taught – yet never spoke up or spoke aloud those questions.  I just pondered within me, never saying anything and continued one year into the next.

In order to understand why we may have accepted these teachings, I think that it is important to take a look at the books that form the Bible.

Who selected the books to be included and those to excluded and some even destroyed? Who are the people who have been included?  I’ve gone along all these years thinking they were all disciples of Yahshua, but guess what,

they were not all disciples and the writings of some of the disciples were deliberately left out with instructions to burn/destroy those writings, handed down by the church.

Again, back to the question of why?

The simple and sad conclusion that I have come to is that the church of Rome wanted to promulgate the all-male dominance of its rule based upon the teachings and reworded writings of Paul and Peter. I do recall being taught that the words spoken “Upon this rock I will build my church,” have been attributed to being meant upon “Peter” (which apparently means ‘rock’).  But that is not was intended or meant by those words.  Even I, without any knowledge of history or languages, recalled that we are told that Yahshua is the “rock” of our “salvation”; could there be 2 rocks?  I choose to stay with Yahshua as being the one.

Who were the 12 disciples?  Were Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, Paul, James, Phillip, Timothy all disciples.  There answer is some were disciples, some were not and that some who were, were not included in the writings chosen to form the Bible.  Below is a list of the books in the New Testament:

What I have garnered from reading several sources, which have also been referenced in Laurence’s book, is that

any books that gave any authority to women and in particular any books/writings that gave any authority or special mention to Mary Magdalene were deliberately left out,

and where possible, books that were included and made mention of Mary M were delibertately twisted to make her look like that picture which ultimately got painted.

Without concrete proof I still have no hesitation in saying I believe that Mary and Yahshua were espoused and there are descendants of their union -

Mary Magdala Speaking to the Apostles

to this day!

I would imagine this last statement of mine will paint me as a heretic.  Oh well.

Books of the apostles were left out and and some ordered to be destroyed.  Many have resurrected in the publication of the Nag Hammadi Scriptures, the Dead Sea Scrolls and the singular version of the Gospel of Mary Magdalene (referred to by one of Yahshua’s disciples as being the “apostle to the apostles”).  We know that Matthew and John were apostles of Yahshua, but hey, guess what, Mark and Luke were not, yet they are included (you know, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John).

Mark and Luke are presented in The Acts as being “later colleagues of St. Paul”!  On the other hand, Thomas, Philip and Peter were all listed among the original 12 apostles, and the gospels in their names were excluded and were, “sentenced to be destroyed and, throughout the Mediterranean world, people buried and otherwise secreted their copies of these works, along with the Gospel of Mary and numerous other texts which had, quite suddenly, been declared heretical“.

The New Testament as we have it today, began to take on its form in 367 AD.  The initial works began with Bishop Athanasius of Alexandria who invented the term “can0n” (approved law).  From his list certain works were approved by the Council of Hippo in 393 AD and the Council of Carthage in 397 AD.  Once the books were finalized for inclusion, there then began a number of “edits and amendments” until we have what we currently used, approved by the Council of Trento in Northern Italy (surprise, surprise) around 1547.

During my journey through different religions/churches, the bible to be used for the supposed most accurate translation with less distortion was the King James Bible.  This translation was undertaken by King James in 1604 and finalized in 1611.  One must now take into account that the KJV bible is a translation of only those books approved by the final Council of Trento – thus a translation that would include its edits and amendments.

The Church of Rome is the Apostolic Church of St. Peter, and Peter’s views are made clear in the left out Gospel of Thomas, wherein we are told that:

Peter objected strongly to Mary Magdalene’s presence in Jesus’ entourage.  The text states that, addressing the othr apostles, “Simon Peter said unto them, Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life.”

In the Gospel of Mary we get another view of Peter’s opinion towards Mary M and any involvement she had with the disciples and/or Yahshua.  Peter challenges Mary’s relationship with Yahshua saying:

“Would he really have spoken privately to a woman, and not freely to us?  Why should we change our minds and listen to her?”

In the Coptic tractate of Pistis Sophia Peter complains about Mary’s involvement and asks Yahshua to “restrain her from undermining his supremacy.” 

Many of us place the time of change of the church and today’s foundation for most religions to the time of Pope Constantine.  However, long before Constantine (circa 320 AD) when the books of the Bible were being considered for inclusion, movements already existed to be rid of women in the church.  Around 195 AD the Precepts of Ecclesiastical Discipline were put together by Quintus Tertullian, which stated:

It is not permitted for a woman to speak in church, nor is it permitted for her to baptise, nor to offer the Eucharist, nor to claim for herself a share in any masculine function, least of all in priestly office.

As I read that, I am reminded of what we find in 1 Timothy 2:11-15.  Paul is speaking and says:

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.  But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.

Hopefully, this little bit of information shared with you will cause you to ask,

“Why has the church tried so hard to usurp the wisdom of women and their rightful place as apostles of Yahshua?”

There is so much more, I’d have to re-write a book here and this is really only a blog site and meant to perhaps, and hopefully, wet your appetite to seek for yourself what is that true and acceptable Word and then to rise up, head high and share it as the light brightens from within, shedding it abroad.

When Self-Doubt Tries to Move Back In

There have been a lot of changes in my life over the past several years and they continue.  I packed in a profession that pretty well defined who (I thought) I was and began to develop, study and obtain certification in areas totally foreign (to whom I thought I was) to me; areas that were the opposite end of the spectrum insofar as my working life had been.

It felt right.  You know how something just settles in our soul as though it had always been there, but you just woke up to it.  I am an avid reader and time and again I’ve read that if you have a passion about something then chances (don’t believe in chances) are it is your calling in this journey as a human.

I have a deep and abiding passion for seniors (ooops…my peers), for all things holistic and for writing; and, not to leave out, photography of everything and anything.  I am blessed with a seeing eye, that is I see things that I don’t see until after the photograph has been taken.  I have a gift of words that my dear father had to point out to me; I’ve written about that and what he had to say.  These two abilities are gifts given to me by the Creator; no man or institution can claim credit for having educated me in the how to’s.

As for my passion for seniors that has been there since I don’t remember when and I believe it just got enhanced with the passing of my own father in 2007.  My mother went home in 1996.  I was left the matriarch, so to speak, being the eldest living.  My oldest brother also went home in 1996.

So, what does any of this have to do with this blog?  Everything.  I need to remind myself of the words I so casually utter to others as encouragement; need to be reminded of my passions and that I had nothing to do with making me passionate about these things or anything.  Passion comes from above; comes from some place or person out there.  I firmly believe that no person can, by self-will, stir up passion and become passionate about anything.  To me passion speaks of a love that is so unconditional, it cannot be human.

Sorry folks, but I do not believe there is a human alive now, or ever, who is love unconditional.  We are too baggaged with the things of the world while we walk the path of the world.

So, with my latest changes in my life that have totally removed me from a community where I could “just reach out and touch” to get an assignment that would provide income…my old acquaintance self-doubt has been trying to move his whole household back in and take up residence.

My someone out there reminded me of this in meditation this morning.  How (you ask or not)?  I was given an assignment that went something like this:

This, then, is your assignment.  Should you choose to accept it, it is to “Choose to love somebody – your some body.  Love the one you’re with – you!”

Rather strange, don’t you think.  It was like I wasn’t me and I, outside of me, was being told – love your “self” as though they are not your “self”.  It somehow made it an easier assignment for objectively speaking I have absolutely no problem or issues when it comes to another person:  you, the mail person, the nasty boss, the road rage driver, etc.  I can objectively look at the situation I do not like and with compassion think that there’s something going on in their life that is making them behave like this, but it is not who they are; not at all.

So, my antidote to self-doubt is to stand aside and look at me and look at all of the wonderful things that this “person” has done in her life, the people whose lives have been touched by her either in person or through a writing or photograph.  When I can stand aside, like that, and look at me as if I am not me, I have absolutely no difficulty in choosing to love this somebody and saying (pardon the swearing but it is how I feel):

Bloody hell – she’s marvellous, absolutely marvellous.

This reminder of my passion and how throughout my human journey to-date it has touched a person or who, is encouragement to keep on keeping on and thus tell “self-doubt” to find itself another residence because it sure as heck isn’t welcome in my residence!

If self-doubt tries to move back into the rooms of your heart, step aside of you and look upon you as if you are a stranger, not you, and you will be amazed at how re-enthusiastic you become about how bloody marvellous you are – and, that is not egoistical or narcissistic.  It is giving the Creator thanks for all of the many blessings bestowed upon you by the Creator!

Go ahead,

Love the One You Are With – You!

Harmony of Wholeness

I was looking at a series of photographs recently taken, all within the same “space”.  Within the photographs you find dogs, cats, birds and insects, all living harmoniously together.  If you take the time to dissect that panoramic scene you will find (animal life) a cat who shouldn’t get along with a dog and a bird who shouldn’t be near a cat and a dog who (according to us humans) would scare off cat and bird.  Then there is the tiniest of all, the wasp or hornet that sits unceremoniously doing its own thing amidst all of these other rather large critters.

The majestic bluebird sits quietly perched upon a twig, high above all, gazing downwards as if to say, “Yes.  All is well indeed.  Carry on.”

An harmonious scene where all are a part of the whole.  No longer harmonious when you start dissecting and pulling apart and attributing characteristics and qualities of behaviour to each of the players that makes them hostile towards one another.

Perhaps the human can take a lesson and leave out the dissecting, space instrusion and territorial attitudes – speaking for self of course.